Sunday Evening

I went to Linner (Lunch/Dinner) with Sharron today. My load has been lightened so much today. I felt happiness when it seemed far off. It was so good to spend a few hours chatting about the miscarriage and her trials and encouraging one another. To let my eyes fill with tears and have someone there who is feeling what I am going through with me because she cares. I have incredible friends. A few personal things happened tonight with my husband from this miscarriage I am not going to share on here for the sake of keeping it personal and between us but... it was beautiful (no I am not talking about sex). I think God used the miscarriage for this purpose (not this purpose alone). This is the first time I see how and a little bit of why it might have happened. I did not expect it to come so fast, but it doesn't answer the whole question and it might not ever.

Also I might have a house to rent by the time our lease is up on this dinky apartment!!! I pray it works out! I pray we can move into a house, this house! I pray it is his good and perfect will that we move there. I also pray if we do we help out the family renting it! How blessed we will be! It would feel so much better to have some space and a yard and places to store all the baby stuff from McKayla!!! Babies come with a TON of stuff and they are so TINY!!! Gotta love it! Pray for that house to work out please!

I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow morning and should be asleep right now, and am thankful I am not up to cry tonight, but because McKayla keeps waking up and fussing. I am pretty sure she is teething... oh what a wonderful stage... I pray that tomorrow when they do an ultra sound everything has passed. I had another clot today, assuming it was placenta but I don't know... it wasn't the fetus is all I know. I really pray it has all passed because I do not want another surgery. It puts me at risk because of the fact that my c-section scar isn't healed completely on the inside so it's a higher risk for piercing me and preventing me from having the ability to have more children. As well as my ITP platelet problem could cause internal bleeding, so no I don't want a D & C.

Ahh... sigh of some relief from the constant pain I have been having. What a roller coaster my life is. Praise you Lord in the good and in the bad.