Today I really wanted to share what was on my heart. I LOVE being a mom. I mean it! There are so many things I love about being a mom! My last post was about how my pregnancy was sucking and at the end of my very long list of complaints I said that I of course wouldn't take back being pregnant because in the end I got a beautiful baby. That last sentiment means so much more today than when I wrote it. Not that I didn't whole-heartedly believe it then, but I didn't know exactly how much I meant it.
My son ended up being born 4 weeks early on June 13, 2016, and still weighed a whopping 7 lbs. 5 oz! I was SO ready to be done with pregnancy but worried that his lungs wouldn't be developed. In my small town that meant because I had to have a c-section I would stay in my town and he would be flown to the NICU in another town with the capacity to care for him. I was dreading the possible separation! I was also stressing about the whole operation and a repeat of bleeding out and almost dying like I did with my first child. I said a silent prayer as I lay on the operating table and got an overwhelming sense of peace. My prayers had been answered! All went well and we were both doing great!
When the doctor put him up over the blue curtain that was blocking me from the surgery (which my husband gladly watched and was fascinated by) I saw his wide eyes and squishy face and instantly I was head over heals in love, even more so than I was when I was carrying him. He was SO darn cute and perfect! I cried tears of joy and relief.
Then came the first few weeks of breastfeeding troubles, spinal tap headache, and very, very little sleep. Through all of that the joy never left. Who knew I could have so much love to give? I wondered how I could fully love two children. Even though it sounds crazy, I wondered how I could love both of them so much and if you have more than one kid, you probably understand the transitional thoughts I was feeling. You just do! It just happens and I can't explain how much overflowing love I have for my kids.
Now Lets get real... not everyday do I have this lovable demeanor, I want to scream and throw things at the wall sometimes with my soon to be 6 year old's attitude and back talk. Not to mention the early mornings and how long it takes to get ready and motivate people to get up and ready to be out the door on time. Even though I get frustrated and mad in those moments, I always have my joy.
I have so much to be thankful for right now. My daughter is turning 6 and is loving 1st grade, my son is about 3.5 months old and I take him to work with me everyday. I love that! It can be rough at times on days when he doesn't fully cooperate, but he usually does. I get to drop my daughter off and pick her up from school everyday, and I AM DONE with my schooling (for now, but that's a topic for another day). Everyday I see my sons super cute smiley face and I love the love he has for me. His smile just melts away everything. I love that when he sees me he lights up. I love his coos, and small laughs at silly things I do. I mean come on, how cute is this kid!
My kids amaze me everyday and I am blessed to be their mom. God chose me to be their mom, and I will forever be thankful. My daughter is in soccer again and I can't wait to see her grow in the sport she loves, and I am glad that my son will get to watch his sister. The love they already have for each other also astounds me. He loves watching her, listening to her, and talking to her. They have a huge age gap so she hasn't gone through the jealousy phase and is a great helper. I can't help but smile when they communicate.
After dropping my daughter off at school today I was sitting at the table with McLaren (my son) on my lap, drinking my coffee while he babbled and drooled on my sleeve. I was thinking, man I love my mom life. I know it can be rough and exhausting but it is truly a blessing. I am so thankful I was able to have two children because for a long time we thought we could only have one.
Cherish your children, hold them tight, make them laugh, let them teach you things, be a kid with them sometimes, and discipline them with love when you need to. Love your mom life because it won't be like this for long.