Lately I have been trying to find ways to save money, make money and keep money. I am going to try and start selling jewelry to possibly quit my day job, stop paying for someone to watch my kids, and make more money in less time. Strange that as I have been pondering these money issues TLC is having a extreme couponing show. After watching this (which they go way over board with their stock piles!) I now understand how to do it and get stuff free... Since I stay home I am going to try and devote (over time) a couple of hours to finding good deals to try and save money and pay down debt with savings.
I have been feeling (as I have been describing it) less heavy about the miscarriage. It still hurts, especially when you see a commercial that says "We are pregnant" or a pregnancy test commercial and such. When I say I lost a baby or had a miscarriage it doesn't hit me as much as when I hear it out of another persons mouth. When someone else says it my stomach drops. I believe this might always happen but lessen as time goes on. I have to tell myself that I will see my baby one day, but for now it still feels like we are missing a family member, because we are.
I have been losing weight but mostly inches. My pants are huge on me right now, ad it's wonderful. This is a step in moving on. Getting into better shape. I have been walking for an hour for the past few nights and it really feels great to calm McKayla down and get outside and exercise. I can't wait to feel in shape again. I am not feeling as guilty to want to better my body now. I feel like I am entering the faze of "I no longer have any part of the baby, I have to get healthy again" and I think it is from seeing the ultra sound and having nothing there. Sad but it's a reality now.
I am excited by other things going on in my life right now other than losing weight. I am excited for the possibility of moving out of an apartment and into a house, and a worship conference this weekend. Life is looking up this week. I pray it continues to get better and more positive. I praise the Lord for all the work he is doing in me and my family.